Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
