i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i out mim tonsoeep
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