I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
