I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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