so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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