5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
