Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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