No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
