she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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