I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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