If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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