Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
