I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Randomize
