dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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