I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
