...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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