Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
