Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My dick has a subreddit
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
