wakey wakey hands off snakey
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
