Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
