yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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