The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
