Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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