Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
