plz talk dirty to me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
