I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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