You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
