My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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