Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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