Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
