my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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