maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
