i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no you cant smoke seaweed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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