Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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