Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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