you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
