apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
