the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
