I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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