Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
