so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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