great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
