Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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