I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
