when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
