Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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