why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
