Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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