i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize