I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
