Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
