He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
