So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
