Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize