I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
