It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
