I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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