i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
